You've Got A Lot of Heart.

I realized this week that I had never really told you about the weekend Holly and I were able to spend in Denver a few months ago. We flew up there on a Friday, but just barely. Our friends Randy and Kaye were scheduled to pick our boys up after school and get them to ballgames and practices over the weekend. Our flight was scheduled to leave around 2:30 pm. We received a call at noon that Randy had fallen off the roof while hanging Christmas lights at Holly's office. He was in the emergency department with a broken hip and broken back. Kaye was with him and he seemed stable, but was being evaluated and would need surgery.

Holly and I finished packing, and then called and texted a "backup sitter" and teammates' parents to help with transportation. Jacqui graciously agreed to keep all of our boys for the weekend and we made it to the airport only to realize in the excitement Holly had left her driver's license in the house. We somehow made it through security and Holly called her business manager who made it from their office to our house and to the airport in record time to deliver the license to Holly before Southwest closed the door. 

We made it to Denver and drove to a suburb that evening to see the Killers play that night. As per tradition, I tried to make it in with the "big lens" and was sent back to the car. We had plenty of time so I wasn't too bothered. I then took the regular lens in and we saw a great show. My backup camera was great until the battery died. Holly had her new iPhone and I used it to take a video. It is pretty amazing considering it was on a phone...

I got a few good pictures and many not so good, just enough for a slideshow. Actually it is just an excuse to have you hear the song. The song is Be Still from their new album. They didn't play it at the concert, but I have listened to it quite a bit. It is a song Brandon wrote (I think) as a lullaby for his three boys. I can't listen to it without getting a lump in my throat, and thought you would feel the same way.

Be still
And go on to bed
Nobody knows what lies ahead
And life is short
To say the least
We're in the belly of the beast

Be still
Wild and young
Long may your innocence reign
Like shells on the shore
And may your limits be unknown
And may your efforts be your own
If you ever feel you can't take it anymore

Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is done

Be still
One day you'll leave
Fearlessness on your sleeve
When you've come back, tell me what did you see
What did you see
Was there something out there for me?

Be still
Close your eyes
Soon enough you'll be on your own
Steady and straight
And if they drag you through the mud
It doesn't change what's in your blood
(Over chains)
When they knock you down

Don't break character
You've got a lot of heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Be still
Be still
Be still
Be still

Over rock and chain
Over sunset plain
Over trap and snare
When you're in too deep
In your wildest dream
In your made up scheme
When they knock you down
When they knock you down

Don't break character
You've got sooooo much heart
Is this real or just a dream?
Oh Rise up like the sun
And labor till the work is done
Rise up like the sun
Labor till the work is

Rise up like the sun
And labor till the work is done

Where I Am Folded

Hey brother, I am sitting with this Rilke poem and it moves me in ways that music does.  I can't articulate the stirrings but still I am stirred. 

Your friendship continues to be a place in this world that echoes these stirrings and because of that I am not alone. I am connected, still tiny but near. I love you.

Matt

I am too alone in the world, and not alone enough
to make every minute holy.
I am too tiny in this world, and not tiny enough
just to lie before you like a thing,
shrewd and secretive.
I want my own will, and I want simply to be with my will,
as it goes toward action,
and in the silent, sometimes hardly moving times
when something is coming near,
I want to be with those who know secret things
or else alone.
I want to be a mirror for your whole body,
and I never want to be blind, or to be too old
to hold up your heavy and swaying picture.
I want to unfold.
I don't want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
And I want my grasp of things
true before you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that took me safely
through the wildest storm of all.